Saturday, March 13, 2010

Aint No Reason

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream" - Van Gogh. Most people walk this world in search of permanence; whether it be through marriage, a steady career, or even a life-long optimism. Maybe it's because we're afraid of change, or the inexplicable, or unknown. Maybe it's because we don't want to look inside ourselves and ask questions we cannot answer. Why do bad things happen? Why do good things happen? Is there some karmic force adding and subtracting our every moral decision, or is fate nothing but coincidence and consequence, cleverly masked and marketed to assure us that everything is "meant to be?" Once again, this is unanswerable. But I will tell you that the older I get, the more mistakes I make, the more joy I find in smaller things, the more I understand something a dear friend of mine told me: That the beauty in life is in its transience. At the time, I did not want to hear this advice, and still, often, it is a hard pill for any of us to swallow. There is so much comfort in things that stay the same, but as one of my favorite quotes commands of us: "A ship in a harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are for." None of us were made to stay the same person our entire lives. In fact, I'd feel sorry for anyone who did. To elect one state of being and remain in it is like a kind of death. I'm not sure I believe that anything happens for a reason, to be honest with you. But I do believe in giving meaning to the choices we make, and at least appreciating the unknown; the changing; the impermanent. As someone who considers herself analytical and thoughtful, I do believe in asking questions of yourself, daily. But I also believe in understanding that there won't always be an answer. Sometimes there aint no reason. And aint it kind of beautiful?
Aint No Reason - BRETT DENNEN
There aint no reason things are this way
It's how they've always been and they intend to stay
I don't know why I say the things I say
But I say them anyway

I Won't Be Left - TEGAN AND SARA
I won't be left dancing alone to songs from the past
Would you stay home and keep, my memories warm with me?

Calendar Girl - STARS
If I am lost for a day, try to find me
But if I don't come back, then I won't look behind me
All of the things that I thought were so easy
Just got harder and harder each day
December is darkest and June is the light
But this empty bedroom won't make anything right
While out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home
Who waits up for me all through the night
Calendar girl who's in love with the world: Stay alive
Calendar girl who's in love with the world: Stay alive

I dreamed I was dying, as I so often do
And when I awoke I was sure it was true
I ran to the window, threw my head to the sky
And said whoever is up there, please don't let me die
But I can't live forever, I can't always be
One day I'll be sand on a beach by the sea
The pages keep turning, I'll mark off each day with a cross
And I'll laugh about all that we've lost
Calendar girl who is lost to the world: Stay Aive
Calendar girl who is lost to the world: Stay Alive

January, February, March, April, May I'm alive
June, July, August, September, October I'm alive
November, December, all through the winter
I'm Alive

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